And that's when I got the shotgun, your Honour

When we last left this trainwreck, I had been informed that in order to recover my data, I had to haul my computer over to Best Buy and pay them a round $250 to get them to transfer it over to an external hard drive. This I did! But there have been developments. Oh, there have been developments.

So I paid the money and got the data on the EHD, and carried my computer back home to get it fixed. I called up the computer repair people- who are also the people who manufactured and sold it to me in the first place- and did as they told me to reset it to factory defaults. I clicked on the buttons. Error message. I went back and clicked again. Error message.

Me: Um hello, your process for fixing my computer isn't working?
Him: Oh, it seems it needs to be repaired by professionals. Send it to our outlet in Markham, and you should get it back in about two weeks.
Me: -wait. Can I not take it to the local repair place?
Him: Well you can, but it won't be covered by the warranty, and you'll have to pay for it.
Me: . . .

So I'm just like- SURE. FINE. WHATEVER. So into the outlet in Markham it goes, and I'm on a borrowed computer until it gets back. So I head back to my dorm earlier today and attempt to log on to the internet.

Internet: Error. Product key not valid.

Me:

CTHULHU FHTAGN

So, having finally snapped once and for all, I call up the helpline and go "HELLO, I AM YOUR CUSTOMER AND I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE. YOU SEE THIS ROPE? I AM AT THE END OF IT. I AM, IN FACT, PAST THE END OF IT. THE THINGS HOLDING ON TO THE END OF THE ROPE HAVE FALLEN TO THEIR DEATHS AND ONE OF THOSE THINGS WAS MY SANITY."

Customer Service Dude: The code only works once, and then it's obsolete. If you want to get our service on another computer, you need to go to the co-op office and explain the situation to them.
Me: THANK YOU MUCHLY. *hangs up*

Then: I went to look up the office hours.

And discovered that they are closed on Sundays.

DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME, OKAY